Someone died last week. They weren’t particularly wonderful or well known. They could sometimes be difficult to deal with. They had family and at least one person who cared about them. They died during a medical procedure that was a fairly routine procedure. Except for that it was unnecessary. They were poor. They had a difficult time standing up for themselves effectively. It could be said they were a “problem” patient because they didn’t take care of themselves and sometimes complained about things no one could control. But, did they deserve to die? It could be argued that when it is a person’s time to die, they die. But, how much control do we, as medical professionals, have over this? We all know doctors try to save patients, and the Hippocratic Oath of “Do no harm” is something we all take, but do we do that? I know I have been guilty of seeing people as a problem and not as a person. I also know I have been guilty of rushing someone through a complaint because I see it as something inconsequential. And, while my role as a therapist is different from a physician, I still contribute to the collective good, or ungood, as the case may be. I also know I am not talking about anything new or unusual, but it happens that this hit a little closer to my backyard today. It was not my client, but still had an affect on my day. And, why shouldn’t it? This person had been encouraged to seek other medical care because there was concern they were not being treated properly. I know I have pleaded the same case to my own clients when I can see they’re not being given appropriate medical care. And, just as this individual did, my clients have reasons for not making a change. But, I think this speaks to the medical community about how APPROACHABLE we are or are not. When our patients or clients are afraid to talk to us about the care they are receiving, this is a problem. When they feel invalidated, this is a problem. When we stop taking the time to listen, this is a problem.

It is very possible the doctor responsible for this patient did everything they knew to do. And, I am not advocating that no one die. I am well enough versed in the ways of the world to understand that people die and sometimes no one can predict what will happen during a medical procedure. This is not a rant about death. It is, however, a rant about the expectations of care and how we should be treating each other as people, first and foremost. Had this person felt they were being treated as a person, it possible there would have been a different outcome. Had this person felt they were able to approach their medical provider, the might have been a different outcome. Had this person had access to better information regarding their care, it is possible there would have been a better outcome. However, if nothing else, it at least reminds me that, as a provider of healthcare, I need to be as approachable and as understanding as I can with my clients. I think this is a reminder we all need sometimes. This doesn’t mean not to set limits; we all need limits in our lives. It doesn’t mean that I over-function for my clients either, as this can be just as damaging as not doing enough. This does mean, however, that I “check myself” and my attitude when working with difficult people and work toward not being dismissive of them. And, that I try to have some kindness and understanding that not everyone has had the opportunities I have. Sometimes these opportunities are the difference between good and bad healthcare. And, unfortunately, sometimes the difference between life and death.